Friday Funny - Pearls of Wisdom Pt1

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

There's no future in time travel.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Death is hereditary.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.