Friday Funny - Pearls of Wisdom Pt2

Sourced from www.friday-fun.com

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.