One of Those Posts That's About Everything and Nothing All At the Same Time
I was lying in bed the other night and I had this awesome idea for a blog post. I had the whole thing written out in my head and as I lay there I kept refining my words until it was perfect.
The only problem was, it was 2am and I didn't have anything to write this awesome idea on. I was too lazy to actually get out of bed and go in to the next room, in fact I was so lazy I couldn't even be bothered to roll over and pick up my phone and jot down this blog post that would have blown your mind.
That's how lazy I am. I take laziness to a whole new level people.
So of course the next day, when I actually sat down to write a blog post I couldn't bloody remember for the life of me this awesome blog post idea. So fucking annoying!
You know what else is annoying? The way I keep losing bobby pins. Seriously, I have literally owned thousands of the things, for me wedding hairstyle alone they used over 300 (and it was only half up, that's how thick my hair is!). yet do you think I can ever find one of the little fuckers?
No. Those bastards are never there when I need them. Seriously, it's worse than socks. Where do they go??? I certainly haven't picked up that many bobby pins that I would need to be buying more on a semi regular basis, and I know I'm not just vacuuming them up because you can hear them when they go up the tube.
I bet they're off having a bloody party with all the missing socks. One day they are going to find this giant black hole and it will just be filled with odd socks and lost bobby pins, getting it on in some kind of super-freaky warehouse-style rave.
I'd also like to know where all our teaspoons are going. We used to have so many but over the last few months they have just been disappearing. It's so bizarre. I mean, socks and bobby pins I can almost kind of understand and accept, it's been happening for so many years, but teaspoons? Dave doesn't believe me but I know it's happening.
I used to think that someone was coming in to our house while we were both at work, touching and using our stuff and then taking it with them. I used to worry that I would get home from work one day when Dave was on afternoon shift to find the random person that lived in our roof and came in the house when we were out hadn't gotten back up there quick enough and was soaking in the bathtub or cooking a meal in the kitchen.
Why did I think this? Because shit just goes missing in this house and turns up in the weirdest of places, and a place where I didn't and never would have put it, I'm sure. Dave swears he hasn't touched stuff when I ask him where it's at so I can only assume it's the person living in the roof. I'm not too angry though, I mean he lives in a roof. With rats. Rats!
So anyway, here ends my ridiculous post about nothing. The Seinfeld post if you will. In case you were wondering, I'm not drunk. Or stoned. But it is 12:30 at night, I have to be up to start work in the morning, not to mention deal with the munchkin, and I am suffering from that awesome combination that is sleep deprivation and insomnia. Isn't mother nature a bitch! Just when you think, yippee, I might get some relief from the insomnia because I've not had much sleep for the past year, she pulls a fast one on ya!
Have you noticed I use a lot of exclamation marks?
I'm linking this post up with the awesome Grace and the ever so wonderful Bree for Flash Yo Blog Friday. I mean Flog Blog Friday. Whatever.
P.S. Don't forget to come back next week where I reveal an awesome new monthly series, possibly with linky love. It'll be like free love on the Internet!
The only problem was, it was 2am and I didn't have anything to write this awesome idea on. I was too lazy to actually get out of bed and go in to the next room, in fact I was so lazy I couldn't even be bothered to roll over and pick up my phone and jot down this blog post that would have blown your mind.
That's how lazy I am. I take laziness to a whole new level people.
So of course the next day, when I actually sat down to write a blog post I couldn't bloody remember for the life of me this awesome blog post idea. So fucking annoying!
You know what else is annoying? The way I keep losing bobby pins. Seriously, I have literally owned thousands of the things, for me wedding hairstyle alone they used over 300 (and it was only half up, that's how thick my hair is!). yet do you think I can ever find one of the little fuckers?
No. Those bastards are never there when I need them. Seriously, it's worse than socks. Where do they go??? I certainly haven't picked up that many bobby pins that I would need to be buying more on a semi regular basis, and I know I'm not just vacuuming them up because you can hear them when they go up the tube.
I bet they're off having a bloody party with all the missing socks. One day they are going to find this giant black hole and it will just be filled with odd socks and lost bobby pins, getting it on in some kind of super-freaky warehouse-style rave.
I'd also like to know where all our teaspoons are going. We used to have so many but over the last few months they have just been disappearing. It's so bizarre. I mean, socks and bobby pins I can almost kind of understand and accept, it's been happening for so many years, but teaspoons? Dave doesn't believe me but I know it's happening.
I used to think that someone was coming in to our house while we were both at work, touching and using our stuff and then taking it with them. I used to worry that I would get home from work one day when Dave was on afternoon shift to find the random person that lived in our roof and came in the house when we were out hadn't gotten back up there quick enough and was soaking in the bathtub or cooking a meal in the kitchen.
Why did I think this? Because shit just goes missing in this house and turns up in the weirdest of places, and a place where I didn't and never would have put it, I'm sure. Dave swears he hasn't touched stuff when I ask him where it's at so I can only assume it's the person living in the roof. I'm not too angry though, I mean he lives in a roof. With rats. Rats!
So anyway, here ends my ridiculous post about nothing. The Seinfeld post if you will. In case you were wondering, I'm not drunk. Or stoned. But it is 12:30 at night, I have to be up to start work in the morning, not to mention deal with the munchkin, and I am suffering from that awesome combination that is sleep deprivation and insomnia. Isn't mother nature a bitch! Just when you think, yippee, I might get some relief from the insomnia because I've not had much sleep for the past year, she pulls a fast one on ya!
Have you noticed I use a lot of exclamation marks?
I'm linking this post up with the awesome Grace and the ever so wonderful Bree for Flash Yo Blog Friday. I mean Flog Blog Friday. Whatever.
P.S. Don't forget to come back next week where I reveal an awesome new monthly series, possibly with linky love. It'll be like free love on the Internet!
Comments
Have the best day.
Me
I love getting random ideas for blogging. I love it even more when I find that I'm laughing at myself over a post in my head. Crazy, much?
If you ever need some bobby pins, I have a whole stack. I still can't bear to part with the ones that I used for my wedding...that's how much of a hoarder I am!
cranky old man
Check your wardrobe.
And don't buy cereal.
You would always find a few in her bag, a few less in the drawer.
Perhaps you have a theiving granny in your midst?
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