The Longest, Most Amazing Day of My Life Part 2
I wrote Punky's birth story about 2 weeks after she was born. It was the first real chance I'd had to sit in front of the computer and I just banged it out as quick as possible. I thought I would re-visit that post and add in things that I've since remembered about her birth (in bold red font), or that I've been told by Dave or my Mum, who were both there for it. The original was pretty long so I have split it in to two parts. You can read Part 1 here.
For those that haven't or can't be bothered popping here to read Part 1, here's a quick re-cap -
1. I was 2cms dilated 2 days before I gave birth
2. Early labour started the day before Punky's due-date, and my scheduled induction, at about 7 in the morning.
3. Maccas was my last and first meal upon leaving for, and being released from hospital. I also had a chocolate sundae from Maccas while in hospital.
4. Dave annoyed me once labour was established by stuffing around with the dishwasher and chewing.
5. The worst part of the whole experience (besides being stitched up) was being stuck on the bed with the foetal heart-rate monitor strapped to me. Hated that thing!
Following on from Part 1... However, before she'd even had a chance to organise any kind of pain relief I suddenly felt the most overwhelming urge to push. I said to Dave "I gotta push, I gotta push" and thankfully the midwife walked back in the room at that time and I told her the same thing. The contractions were coming one after the other and it felt as though the only thing that would help would be to push.
She (the midwife) was a bit skeptical so said she would examine me again, as it had only been about 15mins since she'd last checked and I was only 5cms. Sure enough, she had another look and I was fully dilated (Thank God!). She asked me if I'd had a baby in a previous life as that was the fastest she'd ever seen anyone go from 5 to 10cms with their first baby. I just asked her to Get. It. Out!
I do realise how damn lucky I am that I progressed so quickly. I also realise now that the out-of-control feelings that I was having while begging for pain relief were not just due to the fact that I was stuck on the bed but also because I was in transition, the stage of labour that should really be called the "Get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-I-can't-do-this-shit" stage due to the fact it is the time when most women feel out of control and express feelings of not being able to cope or 'do it'.
She told me to start pushing if that's what I wanted to do, then ran out to ring the OB so that he would get there in time and wouldn't miss it (he wouldn't have wanted to miss it when you consider how much I'd had to pay up-front in cash at my antenatal visits. Seriously, who doesn't have eftpos these days?). About half an hour before this all happened I'd messaged my Mum between contractions to let her know that I was in the hospital and it was all systems go (I think it took about 3 contractions to manage to type "In hospital. All happening."! Still quicker than Dave trying to do it though!) As it turns out she was awake and jumped straight in the car to come over. Good thing she did too, as she had to get from Campbelltown to Windsor (about a 45 min drive) and somehow she made it with about 15 mins to spare.
I was so glad when Mum walked in, not that I could see her as I had my eyes closed from the moment I started pushing to the moment they handed Mia to me, but I knew she was there when the midwife, who had been holding one of my hands, let go and went to go organise whatever it is they organise when the birth is imminent, and I held out my hand in the air, opening and closing it and yelling "Hand! I need a hand!" and Mum stepped up to sacrifice the feeling in hers, to help me.
Dave was holding my other hand and I am under strict instructions that next time my nails have to be super short if I expect to hold his hand again, he said he would like to have some skin left on them at the end of it all. Poor baby. Must have been so painful for him!
I pushed for about an hour and a half and it was probably the longest hour and a half of my life. I don't know what I would have done if Dave wasn't there, I could not have done it without him. He just kept telling me what a good job I was doing and that I was almost there, and it was hearing his voice that stopped me from being totally freaked out by the entire situation.
To be honest, I had been a bit worried about how Dave would do with it all, and if he would be a help or a hindrance. Every time I talked about things I'd read in the Birth Skills book, or things I did or didn't want during the whole deal, he didn't seem very interested or to even really be listening to me. But when push came to shove (haha!) it turns out that he had been listening to every little thing I had said or told him and he was the best! The Best!
Many women tell you they like the pushing part the best because they finally get to do something, but I freely admit, I found the pushing part the hardest. It felt so un-natural, and it didn't feel like anything was actually happening. Sure it helped relieve some of the pain and pressure, but it felt like so much effort for no discernible gain.
Obviously not being able to actually see the progress of my baby making her way out with each push added to this, but it was also the fact that I did pretty good at being able to retreat in to my mind during contractions to deal with the pain, but when I was pushing I had to be active and couldn't switch off and think of other things, I had to be so focused on what I was doing and couldn't just try to block it out.
Finally, at 6:05am, a time which I dispute because I have photos on Dave's phone that were taken as early as 5:55am, 2 and a half hours after arriving at the hospital, my beautiful little Punky was born. Like I said in part 1, it was a good thing we decided to go to the hospital when we did. If I had tried to stay at home too much longer I may have ended up pushing in the car! It was the most surreal thing when they handed her to me, I just couldn't believe she'd come out of me! The look on Dave's face was one of pure amazement. Neither of us cried, we were both just so overwhelmed that we had somehow managed to make this little wriggling baby and that I'd pushed her out! I just could not take my eyes off her.
It took the OB about 40 mins to stitch me up as I had a 3rd degree tear, as well as internal tearing as Punky came out with one arm up around her head with the umbilical cord all wrapped up around so it wasn't ideal and did a bit of damage, something I'm sure she will hear about for the rest of her life! Lol! The stitching was the worst part of the whole thing for sure, something which I have unashamedly blogged about here! And you know what? That's pretty damn good. I am so incredibly lucky that I had a smooth, complication-free birth. Many women don't.
My Mum was blown away by the whole thing and I also think a little overwhelmed as well, it being the first time she'd experienced childbirth from that perspective and not being the one actually giving birth! She says the hardest part was just seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it, and knowing only too well, after doing it 5 times herself, exactly how that pain felt. Dave's parents got there about an hour after Punky was born and needless to say they were pretty excited!
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, one that I know I will never forget. It's true when they say that the memory of the pain fades and dims, because if it didn't, I couldn't write this story now. I must admit, for the first day or two afterwards, I think I was in a little bit of shock. It's weird how something so amazing can also be a little bit traumatic when you stop and think about what actually happened and the pain you went through. After going through that, I'm not sure if I want to go through it again without an epidural (the words of a woman with the memories fresh in her mind right there people!), but ask me in a couple of years, when we decide to have another one, and I'm sure I won't even care, I'll just want another baby! Because holding that little baby at the end of it was the ultimate prize!
I am at the point now where, considering how fast it all ended up going, I am really glad I didn't have an epidural. I hope that next time things will, with a bit of luck, go as smoothly and quickly and I won't need to bother with drugs again, for no other reason than it's just a pain in the arse afterwards. I know now that I can get through it and I must admit I am a little proud of myself that I managed to do it, drugs or no, purely because it is just such a huge thing for a body to go through. I think whether you have a baby vaginally or via a c-sec, every woman should be proud that they have gotten through such a shock to their systems.
I do wonder though, had I had an epidural, maybe they wouldn't have made me get up and go and have a shower less than 3 hours after it all happened, resulting in me just about fainting because I had no energy from being awake for over 24 hours and not having eaten for over 12 hours. My MIL had to quickly strip the bed when Dave practically carried me out of the bathroom, lest I just lie down on the floor from the fact I couldn't physically stand any longer. I think it would have been a better idea to get some food in to me before I tried to walk and stand up for a shower!
I think one of the best things about having Punky is seeing Dave as a father. It's the most beautiful thing to see. He is just so in love with his little daughter, he just can't get enough of her. He is willing to do anything, change the dirtiest of nappies and is more than happy for me to express a bottle of milk during the day so that he can get up and do one of the night feeds. In the 9 days since she's been alive he has copped exploding poo and projectile vomit all over him and it hasn't fazed him once. If it's possible I'm even more in love with him now than I was before.
Dave has continued to be even more more amazing than I ever could have imagined, he really is the best Dad. Having Punky in our lives truly is the best thing that has ever happened to either of us and has definitely made us appreciate each other so much more. We are a real team now, we are so committed to making sure that Mia has the best life we could possibly give her, and in the process, give each other the best life and love we can.
A year ago today my baby girl Punky came in to this world and I can honestly say, I have never been happier or more content with my life than I am at this moment. A year ago today my baby girl made me a mother and opened up a whole new world, a world I wouldn't change for all the money in it!
Happy Birthday Punky!
For those that haven't or can't be bothered popping here to read Part 1, here's a quick re-cap -
1. I was 2cms dilated 2 days before I gave birth
2. Early labour started the day before Punky's due-date, and my scheduled induction, at about 7 in the morning.
3. Maccas was my last and first meal upon leaving for, and being released from hospital. I also had a chocolate sundae from Maccas while in hospital.
4. Dave annoyed me once labour was established by stuffing around with the dishwasher and chewing.
5. The worst part of the whole experience (besides being stitched up) was being stuck on the bed with the foetal heart-rate monitor strapped to me. Hated that thing!
Following on from Part 1... However, before she'd even had a chance to organise any kind of pain relief I suddenly felt the most overwhelming urge to push. I said to Dave "I gotta push, I gotta push" and thankfully the midwife walked back in the room at that time and I told her the same thing. The contractions were coming one after the other and it felt as though the only thing that would help would be to push.
She (the midwife) was a bit skeptical so said she would examine me again, as it had only been about 15mins since she'd last checked and I was only 5cms. Sure enough, she had another look and I was fully dilated (Thank God!). She asked me if I'd had a baby in a previous life as that was the fastest she'd ever seen anyone go from 5 to 10cms with their first baby. I just asked her to Get. It. Out!
I do realise how damn lucky I am that I progressed so quickly. I also realise now that the out-of-control feelings that I was having while begging for pain relief were not just due to the fact that I was stuck on the bed but also because I was in transition, the stage of labour that should really be called the "Get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-I-can't-do-this-shit" stage due to the fact it is the time when most women feel out of control and express feelings of not being able to cope or 'do it'.
She told me to start pushing if that's what I wanted to do, then ran out to ring the OB so that he would get there in time and wouldn't miss it (he wouldn't have wanted to miss it when you consider how much I'd had to pay up-front in cash at my antenatal visits. Seriously, who doesn't have eftpos these days?). About half an hour before this all happened I'd messaged my Mum between contractions to let her know that I was in the hospital and it was all systems go (I think it took about 3 contractions to manage to type "In hospital. All happening."! Still quicker than Dave trying to do it though!) As it turns out she was awake and jumped straight in the car to come over. Good thing she did too, as she had to get from Campbelltown to Windsor (about a 45 min drive) and somehow she made it with about 15 mins to spare.
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| Proud Grandma |
Dave was holding my other hand and I am under strict instructions that next time my nails have to be super short if I expect to hold his hand again, he said he would like to have some skin left on them at the end of it all. Poor baby. Must have been so painful for him!
I pushed for about an hour and a half and it was probably the longest hour and a half of my life. I don't know what I would have done if Dave wasn't there, I could not have done it without him. He just kept telling me what a good job I was doing and that I was almost there, and it was hearing his voice that stopped me from being totally freaked out by the entire situation.
To be honest, I had been a bit worried about how Dave would do with it all, and if he would be a help or a hindrance. Every time I talked about things I'd read in the Birth Skills book, or things I did or didn't want during the whole deal, he didn't seem very interested or to even really be listening to me. But when push came to shove (haha!) it turns out that he had been listening to every little thing I had said or told him and he was the best! The Best!
Many women tell you they like the pushing part the best because they finally get to do something, but I freely admit, I found the pushing part the hardest. It felt so un-natural, and it didn't feel like anything was actually happening. Sure it helped relieve some of the pain and pressure, but it felt like so much effort for no discernible gain.
Obviously not being able to actually see the progress of my baby making her way out with each push added to this, but it was also the fact that I did pretty good at being able to retreat in to my mind during contractions to deal with the pain, but when I was pushing I had to be active and couldn't switch off and think of other things, I had to be so focused on what I was doing and couldn't just try to block it out.
Finally, at 6:05am, a time which I dispute because I have photos on Dave's phone that were taken as early as 5:55am, 2 and a half hours after arriving at the hospital, my beautiful little Punky was born. Like I said in part 1, it was a good thing we decided to go to the hospital when we did. If I had tried to stay at home too much longer I may have ended up pushing in the car! It was the most surreal thing when they handed her to me, I just couldn't believe she'd come out of me! The look on Dave's face was one of pure amazement. Neither of us cried, we were both just so overwhelmed that we had somehow managed to make this little wriggling baby and that I'd pushed her out! I just could not take my eyes off her.
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| The first photo ever taken of Punky and I |
My Mum was blown away by the whole thing and I also think a little overwhelmed as well, it being the first time she'd experienced childbirth from that perspective and not being the one actually giving birth! She says the hardest part was just seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it, and knowing only too well, after doing it 5 times herself, exactly how that pain felt. Dave's parents got there about an hour after Punky was born and needless to say they were pretty excited!
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, one that I know I will never forget. It's true when they say that the memory of the pain fades and dims, because if it didn't, I couldn't write this story now. I must admit, for the first day or two afterwards, I think I was in a little bit of shock. It's weird how something so amazing can also be a little bit traumatic when you stop and think about what actually happened and the pain you went through. After going through that, I'm not sure if I want to go through it again without an epidural (the words of a woman with the memories fresh in her mind right there people!), but ask me in a couple of years, when we decide to have another one, and I'm sure I won't even care, I'll just want another baby! Because holding that little baby at the end of it was the ultimate prize!
I am at the point now where, considering how fast it all ended up going, I am really glad I didn't have an epidural. I hope that next time things will, with a bit of luck, go as smoothly and quickly and I won't need to bother with drugs again, for no other reason than it's just a pain in the arse afterwards. I know now that I can get through it and I must admit I am a little proud of myself that I managed to do it, drugs or no, purely because it is just such a huge thing for a body to go through. I think whether you have a baby vaginally or via a c-sec, every woman should be proud that they have gotten through such a shock to their systems.
I do wonder though, had I had an epidural, maybe they wouldn't have made me get up and go and have a shower less than 3 hours after it all happened, resulting in me just about fainting because I had no energy from being awake for over 24 hours and not having eaten for over 12 hours. My MIL had to quickly strip the bed when Dave practically carried me out of the bathroom, lest I just lie down on the floor from the fact I couldn't physically stand any longer. I think it would have been a better idea to get some food in to me before I tried to walk and stand up for a shower!
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| Daddy's first photo and proper hold of his little girl. |
Dave has continued to be even more more amazing than I ever could have imagined, he really is the best Dad. Having Punky in our lives truly is the best thing that has ever happened to either of us and has definitely made us appreciate each other so much more. We are a real team now, we are so committed to making sure that Mia has the best life we could possibly give her, and in the process, give each other the best life and love we can.
A year ago today my baby girl Punky came in to this world and I can honestly say, I have never been happier or more content with my life than I am at this moment. A year ago today my baby girl made me a mother and opened up a whole new world, a world I wouldn't change for all the money in it!
Happy Birthday Punky!
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Comments
I can imagine that it must've been hard for your mum to see you go through the pain. But she sounds like she's a real trouper.
And yes, best to cut those nails for the next one, eh ? :) x
Anyway. Congratulations on your first year of motherhood and happy birthday to your beautiful Mia!
XX
I see i'm not the only fainter.. :)
Only yesterday, yet one year ago. xx
Was definitely the worst thing for me.
I sucked big time at pushing but it turned out that was because I have a weirdly shaped uterus that turned my kids posterior each time and gave me little chance of delivering naturally.
I hope all went well for the birthday party today - happy birthday Mia!
Love those little t-shirts, great idea.
I pushed longer than you, it was hardest time for me. Cheers for great mums :D
I'm in that first camp - pushing for me was victory time. GET THIS THING OUT NOW and i did in about 10 mins both times. My second fist pumped her way out, just like Mia. And there's no chance in HELL i'm ever going to let her forget it :)
And gee the pain does fade...otherwise us Mums wouldnt go back again and again!
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