Breast(feeding) Be Gone
You may think from the title that this is another one of those rants about stupid heads and their fairly ignorant comments on public breastfeeding but it isn't. For the record I support public breastfeeding whenever and wherever and think if someone has an issue with it then it's their issue, not mine. Deal with it.
Ok, now that I've got that off my chest, here's the real meaning of my blog title. On Sunday Punky had her last breastfeed. Yep. After 14.5 months our breastfeeding journey has come to an end. Not a sudden one, its been gradual, but the end has come.
When I was pregnant with Punky I set myself a goal of breastfeeding for at least a year. That was what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve, what I believed would give Punky the best start in life I could give her. I was realistic that it might not be easy. I was realistic that we might have trouble and that we might not be able to do it at all. But do it we did.
After a bit of a rocky start (did anyone else find it frustrating that every midwife that came on shift in the hospital had a different way and idea about breastfeeding? And that some wouldn't even help you they'd just shove the kids head on your boob and away they'd go, as if that was really teaching us how to do it ourselves!) and a few rough days when we first got home we finally got the hang of it and were very lucky to not have any issues after that.
Those first few days at home I was just about ready to give up, and if it hadn't been for the breast pump (and Dave's encouragement) I would have given up all together. As it was I expressed the first day we got home as I just couldn't get Punky to latch on and she had bottles of EBM all that night. The next morning, with a clearer head (how fucked are the baby blues on that fourth day by the way!) I expressed a little with the pump before attempting to get Punky to latch. Best thing ever. I was useless at hand-pumping and so that little bit of pumping with the pump made all the difference, softened up my nipples enough to make it easier for Punky to attach and away we went!
Those first few weeks and months Punky was a voracious eater, feeding about every 1.5 hours and to be honest I felt like such a milk cow. That's when showers were nice as I felt like, for that short amount of time, I had my body to myself and no-one else.
I have loved breastfeeding Punky and to be honest there is a part of me that is sad to stop. I loved those quiet moments we got together, especially as she got older and more mobile and independant, when for just a little time, she was content to just lie in my arms and just be with me. These last couple of months she's just been having the one feed first thing in the morning, and if I'm honest, the only reason why they continued on is because it was convenient for me. It gave me an extra 20 mins to lie in bed before having to get up for the day. It bought me time!
My reasons for giving it up are simple. I don't want to tandem feed. I have no problem if that works for other people but I know it wouldn't work for us. It's also becoming painful. With the extra sensitivity in my nipples from being pregnant its just become too painful to keep going. And Punky is a fidgeter of the highest order, even while lying down and feeding, and she kicks me in the stomach a lot, which is also really uncomfortable.
I'm happy with the decision to stop. Punky is more than happy with the decision to stop. She hasn't asked for it in a very long time and hasn't batted an eyelid the times when, for one reason or another, we've skipped that morning feed so I knew it wouldn't bother her stopping all together. She's happy to have a cup of milk in the morning when she gets up instead, and as long as she is happy, I'm happy.
I am proud of myself that we managed to keep at it and go for so long. And that's not to say that I think any less of people who can't or don't, but I do think I'm allowed to feel proud of myself for going this long. Not smug or anything, I just feel proud of myself that I achieved my goal, like I would achieving any goal I set for myself.
So that's it. The end of one era and the beginning of another. I must admit, also, that I am kind of looking forward to having my boobs be my own again, for at least a few months, before I resume full-time dairy cow duties again!
Did you breastfeed? Were you sad when it came time to stop? Were you ready to stop?
P.S. Thank you all for your lovely thoughts and well wishes when I wasn't feeling well last week. Dave and I both ended up sick but thankfully his Mum helped us out a lot and we were both able to get the extra rest we needed to get well for Punky.
Ok, now that I've got that off my chest, here's the real meaning of my blog title. On Sunday Punky had her last breastfeed. Yep. After 14.5 months our breastfeeding journey has come to an end. Not a sudden one, its been gradual, but the end has come.
When I was pregnant with Punky I set myself a goal of breastfeeding for at least a year. That was what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve, what I believed would give Punky the best start in life I could give her. I was realistic that it might not be easy. I was realistic that we might have trouble and that we might not be able to do it at all. But do it we did.
 |
| Hanging together after a feed in the rocking chair, my feeding place of choice. I used the pillow to prop her and my arms comfortably while feeding |
Those first few days at home I was just about ready to give up, and if it hadn't been for the breast pump (and Dave's encouragement) I would have given up all together. As it was I expressed the first day we got home as I just couldn't get Punky to latch on and she had bottles of EBM all that night. The next morning, with a clearer head (how fucked are the baby blues on that fourth day by the way!) I expressed a little with the pump before attempting to get Punky to latch. Best thing ever. I was useless at hand-pumping and so that little bit of pumping with the pump made all the difference, softened up my nipples enough to make it easier for Punky to attach and away we went!
Those first few weeks and months Punky was a voracious eater, feeding about every 1.5 hours and to be honest I felt like such a milk cow. That's when showers were nice as I felt like, for that short amount of time, I had my body to myself and no-one else.
I have loved breastfeeding Punky and to be honest there is a part of me that is sad to stop. I loved those quiet moments we got together, especially as she got older and more mobile and independant, when for just a little time, she was content to just lie in my arms and just be with me. These last couple of months she's just been having the one feed first thing in the morning, and if I'm honest, the only reason why they continued on is because it was convenient for me. It gave me an extra 20 mins to lie in bed before having to get up for the day. It bought me time!
 |
| Not just milk drunk, she's milk passed out! |
I'm happy with the decision to stop. Punky is more than happy with the decision to stop. She hasn't asked for it in a very long time and hasn't batted an eyelid the times when, for one reason or another, we've skipped that morning feed so I knew it wouldn't bother her stopping all together. She's happy to have a cup of milk in the morning when she gets up instead, and as long as she is happy, I'm happy.
I am proud of myself that we managed to keep at it and go for so long. And that's not to say that I think any less of people who can't or don't, but I do think I'm allowed to feel proud of myself for going this long. Not smug or anything, I just feel proud of myself that I achieved my goal, like I would achieving any goal I set for myself.
So that's it. The end of one era and the beginning of another. I must admit, also, that I am kind of looking forward to having my boobs be my own again, for at least a few months, before I resume full-time dairy cow duties again!
Did you breastfeed? Were you sad when it came time to stop? Were you ready to stop?
Find me here:
Comments
Still on two feeds a day, morning and evening. I suspect the morning one will be the first to go as the dinner bath feed bed routine is still so integral to her getting off to sleep and staying there! I haven't got an end date planned, but I think we'll be done on the next few months.
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
I breastfeed both boys - PJ till he was 3!
It feels great knowing I did that - for them - and for me
Stopping now sounds like the absolute right thing for the both of you, especially with a new bubba coming, you need to take it easy a little on yourself
Josefa from #teamIBOT xx
x Karen
It broke my heart that I wasn't able to feed O, and it made me so mad that no-one at the hospital told me about the tie at the time. It's since come out that it was identified but not communicated, and at 19 I didn't know enough to look for it.
That being said, O is in the 97th percentile for height and weight, and intellectually I'm being told she is above and beyond... I did all I could to give her the best start in life (expressing every hour, day and night) and now I can't regret, only look forward and hope for a better time with baby # 2
I starved both my kids for about 6 days with Boy and 4 days with Girl. I cried about not being angle to feed him for months. So Girl went to formula faster than he did. I wold have loved to breast feed but it just didn't work out for us.
In case I haven't said it Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Bella xx
seaandsalt.com
Post a Comment