Dropping Off is Hard to Do
Back at the end of January Punky started going to daycare one day a week, on a Friday, while I'm at work. If we could have avoided it for a bit longer we would have, but due to circumstances beyond our control we had no other option for her care on a Friday but to put her in some sort of formal care.
I'm just looking forward to Dave's new shift rotation starting next week, so that he can share the pain of the drop-off with me, so that its not always me leaving her behind, crying.
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| I wish we could spend every day at the beach rather than at work & daycare |
The daycare she goes to is directly across the street. It's a lovely centre and all of the staff are really great. The food is excellent and there are lots of toys and outdoor areas for them to play. Getting there is the easiest part of the whole thing hands down. The first few weeks she went she was a model child, absolutely perfect, I would put her down and off she would go to the toys without a backwards glance.
And then everything changed. The last few times I've dropped her off she's cried and hasn't wanted me to leave her. It's broken my heart having to walk out that door and leave her there, hearing her cries and seeing her scrunched up little face, her arms reaching out for me.
I know once I'm gone she calms down and is fine, she has fun playing, she sleeps well and she enjoys the food and getting to make a big mess feeding herself yoghurt (something she doesn't get to do at home!).
When I get back in the afternoon to pick her up she is always playing happily, usually with one of the other kids sitting by her side, she's sharing toys and showing the younger ones what she is playing with. I know she is fine after I'm gone, but it's still hard.
I don't know why exactly the change has occurred but I was waiting for it, from the very first week she went. I suspect it has to do with the fact that the first few times we left her she didn't realise what was going to happen, that I was going to be gone for at least 6 hours and she wouldn't see me again until the afternoon. Now she knows and the minute we walk through that door she knows that I'm going to leave.
I am hoping that in time she will come to enjoy being dropped off and getting to play with the other kids. I wonder if she would actually be better off with the next age group of kids, she's pretty cluey and she loves to watch and copy the older kids, but she's till a few months off heading to the 18 months-3 year old room. She's basically the oldest in the babies room and I know that she will soon benefit from being with the next age group up and the more structured activities they do, but until then its great to get there and see her sharing with the younger kids and being kind to them.
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| My girl is fearless. I hope she continues to be as she gets older. And I hope she gets some of that fearlessness back for daycare. |
Did/do your kids go to care? Was it hard to leave them? Did they adjust ok over time?
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My eldest started at 1. One is still friends with a kid he met when he was 1, even though they've been at different schools. My middle was dropped down to 2 days when I stopped work and missed it terribly. Duck duck goose seems totally lame with only 3 kids...
My youngest didn't go and when she started Occasional Care once a fortnight at 2, I could see what she was missing out on. She used to cry if we pulled up at the traffic lights outside of occasional care because she wanted to go - even if it was 6pm and I'd explain no one was there.
This small adjustment stage will pass. Don't feel too bad about it. If it's a good centre, there is so much good there.
I still have some days when J struggles with the drop off. It's just the separation, soon the cries will be few and far between. Or soon they'll just stop tugging on your heart strings lol. When Jordan was at a busy day care centre when he was Mia's age, I found that he DIDN'T cry on days when I left him with one of his favourite carers.
She'll be fine. She is loved and she is safe.
Oh, and she is gorgeous!
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Turned out, it was right before he got Scarlet Fever and was in hospital. He missed probably around 2 months, when he went back. no drama at all.
She will get better, they have always told me that they notice most kids go through a stage like this. And it may get better, and then if there school holidays, it may get worse again straight after.
Getting Dave to support you both will be a big help, you can't take all of that emotion on by yourself, esp at the moment!
As you probably know from my blog and IG, I help out my sister with her daughter Mala. I was doing the dropping off of both kids (Mala is now in the nursery room, Ned in the preschool room) and while it is hard to even get a kiss goodbye from Ned, Mala bawled her little eyes out because it is all new for her. Like Mia, once I have left (or her parents when they drop her) she is fine and has an awesome day making new friends and exploring new spaces.
All I can say is things will get better.
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