I think I can, I think I can. Ah bugger it, I can't!

When I was in year 7 I had this geography teacher. He was one of those teachers that was a hard-arse, but also fair, with a really dry sense of humour. He once made me stand in the corner of the room and count as many bubbles in the paint as I could for the rest of the class. Of course this was because I was talking too much, which would be no great surprise to anyone who knows me and to the regular readers of this blog! 

So anyway, this teacher, his favourite thing to say to us, when we said we couldn't do something was, if it was a girl he was speaking to, "The only thing you can't be is a father!". And of course to the boys he said the same (almost) "The only thing you can't be is a mother!".

Over the years this has stuck in my head and whenever I've found myself thinking "I can't do that!" I hear his words, clear as day and it pushes me to try just that little bit harder, always striving to achieve the things I thought I couldn't possibly do.

However I've also come to learn that there are just some things that I will never be able to do. Some things I will just never be good at.

Like put together an awesome outfit. When it comes to fashion I really have no freaking clue! I always thought, as I went through high school feeling super self-conscious of my daggy clothes and crappy fashion sense, that one day, when I was older and had more money, I'd be good at this fashion shit. But no. Now, in my 30s, I'm just as clueless, the only difference being that I really don't give a shit anymore. I'm happy to not be the most stylish, the most trendy, the most fashion forward. As I've mentioned countless times, I'm a lazy, lazy girl, and being fashionable is just way too much hard work. I'd rather spend my time reading books, and my money on buying them. My one saving grace is having a daughter. I know what looks cute on a miniature human and I'm pretty good at dressing her. Who woulda thunk it?!?

Same goes for cooking. I am a useless cook. Ok, not totally useless, when I actually get in the kitchen and cook and put in a bit of effort the food I turn out is always pretty good, if I do say so myself. I've never had any complaints and I've never had any failures. But I just detest it! I really get no great enjoyment out of cooking, and I get even less out of the cleaning afterwards. And that is my real downfall. Lazy girl strikes again! I was convinced that once I had a house and kitchen of my own that I was gonna make cooking my bitch. But the cleaning afterwards made me her bitch and it's just way too much effort.

We bought our house almost 6 years ago and I still have not mastered the art of keeping it clean and tidy. Sure it's not filthy, and we won't be featured on an episode of Hoarders any time soon (unless you look in the two spare room, that may convince you otherwise on the Hoarders thing!) but I am definitely not going to be winning any Housewife of the Year awards, that's for sure. I've always been a fairly untidy person, and that can be attributed to the aforementioned Lazy Girl Syndrome I suffer from severely. But I was sure, when I was a kid, that when I was an adult I would be good at keeping things neat and tidy and doing my roster of cleaning tasks. I'm still waiting for that to happen. I wonder if it means I'm not really an adult yet?

But the thing that I really, truly thought I would have been better at by now? Getting up in the morning.

Getting up in the morning is my biggest failing as a human being (OK, that might be a little dramatic, but we'll go with it). I suck at getting up in the morning. I've never been a morning person, I need at the very minimum 20 mins of lying in bed after I wake up to actually psych myself to roll on out and get the day started. I am a night owl of the highest order and unfortunately that has derailed any plans I've ever had of being a morning person. My inherent laziness once again comes in to play here, in that getting up in the morning means actually having to do stuff, like go to work, or make breakfast, or do some housework, and the minute my sleep-addled brain realises this my body shuts down and I struggle to rise.

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People would say to me that once I had kids I would get over that quick smart but I can categorically tell you, after 17 months, it is NOT TRUE!. Having kids will not automatically make you a morning person. In fact, I argue that having a baby has made me even less of a morning person! Because when you've gotten out of bed for the umpteenth-million time during the night to re-settle, feed, change a nappy, whatever, the last thing you want to do is get out of the bed when they decide that ridiculous o'clock is the time to start the day.

And they are always so God-damn cheerful about it! Which makes it even harder. People used to joke at work that you couldn't even smile at me within the first half an hour of me arriving in the office as I just couldn't take it. And they were right. For every part of my heart that melts when I see my girl's sweet smile and hear her excited babbling fist thing in the morning, there is an equal part that is grumbling within "Why the fuck are you awake and why the fuck are you so cheerful about it?! The freaking sparrows aren't even awake yet dammit!".

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I would even go so far as to argue that even the best morning people would have trouble being morning people when they have spent all night dealing with a child who wants to party every few hours and hasn't figured out the concept of night and day. Personally I think having a baby has made me even less of a morning person than I ever was before, and now that she's a toddler it just gets worse!

I live in hope though that one day, right around the time she becomes a teenager and wants to sleep-in till midday, I will become better at being a morning person. And at doing housework. I hope I can find the strength and energy to get out of bed at 6am and start vacuuming right outside her bedroom door, with a cheerful smile on my face and some cutesy-cute babbling.

Because revenge is a dish best-served very early in the morning in this house!

This post has been inspired by the bloggers behind an awesome new linky that has started up at The Lounge. Every Thursday the linky will be hosted by one of 5 fantastic bloggers and you're invited to come along, sit down, grab a drink and enjoy some of the other fantastic stories contributed by like-minded Lounge Lizards. This weeks linky is being hosted by The Queen of Awesome, Teagan from Musings of the Misguided, and the theme is What did you think you would be better at by now?. 

You can check out The Lounge on facebook by clicking here, and check out the other awesome bloggers participating in this weeks linky by clicking here.