Determined Toddler and Pregnant Woman Do NOT a Good Combination Make!
I've been a little bit quiet on the blogging front lately. And sadly it's not because I've had PJ#2, its because I haven't!
We've been super busy getting everything organised around the house and celebrating birthdays and what not and to be honest, I've just been exhausted. Free time has consisted of falling asleep wherever my head falls. It's like the first trimester all over again, complete with nausea and the added bonus of being stupidly huge! Plus it's just too damn uncomfortable to sit on the dining room chair at the laptop for long periods of time, and the fitball really is not conducive to working on the laptop, so I've not spent much time online at all (except for what I can do on my phone of course!).
Less than two weeks to go now and I can't wait. I swing from being cool, calm and collected, knowing that this baby will come when she is good and ready, and being all zen about it; To riding waves of hormones and emotions and just desperately wishing and hoping that she would please GET THE HELL OUT OF ME NOW!
Thankfully PJ#2's room is basically finished and all of the other things that we really needed to get done before her arrival have been sorted so that is a huge relief. We had a massive week of cleaning, shifting furniture, painting, more cleaning and cot-building and its basically all done. There is no way we could have done it without the help of our awesome families. They are the absolute best!!!
I am loving PJ#2's room. It's all but finished, with the exception of those final touches of hanging pictures and wall art. I find myself just going in there and sitting on the spare bed, thinking about her and what she will be like. Not really believing that in such a short period of time there will be a new little life in the room. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Punky. Punky loves her sisters room too and I've now learnt the first lesson of having two children - buying two of everything. Punky has co-opted the cute little owl night light I bought for PJ#2's room and I think I am gonna have to go and get another one!
Speaking of Punky, on the one hand she has been absolutely brilliant. She amazes me everyday, how fast she is learning new words (at least one new word every day), how you can ask her questions and she can answer with actual words (what sound does an owl/dog/pony/car make? what do you want from the fridge? cheese. Always bloody cheese!) and the fact that she has been exceptionally good at letting me lie down and rest when I need to and been happy to occupy herself with her toys, the iPad or a bit of TV. I worry that she is turning in to a bit of a TV & iPad addict but at this stage I am just going with it. Everyone keeps telling me just do what you have to to get through the day, so I am!
What has not been so great though is her determination to never listen to me or do what I say/ask. Punky is, shall we say, a strong-willed child. She is also incredibly curious and astoundingly mischievous! I went to the bathroom yesterday and when I came out I looked around and couldn't see her, but I could hear her talking to herself in the tent in her room. So I sat down at the table to finish my cup of tea where I could see her when she came out.
Sure enough after a few minutes she started to emerge from the tent. As soon as she saw that I was back from the loo and watching her, she put what she was holding behind her back and made a hasty backwards retreat into the tent! Obviously my alarm bells started ringing and I knew she had something that she knew she shouldn't have. I walked in to her, got down on my hands and knees (no mean feat thank you very much!) and stuck my head in the tent. She tried to hide what she had but I was too fast and discovered, by the lovely smell, that she had somehow managed to get my perfume.
I took the perfume off her and the tantrum that followed was pretty epic. There was crying and screaming and gnashing of teeth. The worst part was that this wasn't the first tantrum of the day, nor was it the last. Insert mega sigh here!
I've been reading a little on toddler discipline and there are two schools of thought. One is that most forms of discipline just aren't really effective before the age of two, the other is they are never too young to start. My problem is I just don't know what I should be doing. I've tried different things, the thinking corner, counting to three to get her to do something, I've even resorted to a smack on the hand when what she's done/doing is dangerous (she has been putting things in her mouth and then coming and showing me and running away. It terrifies me as I'm so scared of her choking, especially after her little choking episode in the car the other day when she ended up throwing up after choking on the hair elastic I told her repeatedly not to put her in mouth!) but none of it is really effective.
When I ask her to do something she gives me this look and just flops on the ground and won't move until I pick her up and physically make her do it (like putting away toys, picking up the thing she has thrown on the ground that she shouldn't have, dropping food wherever she pleases). When she is doing something she isn't supposed to she just runs away from me and continues to do it until I manage to get close enough to her to take it off her.
I understand that at her age (not quite 20 months) she doesn't really get the concept of danger and that some things just really aren't safe, but she does know when she is doing something wrong, it's just she can't stop the impulse that makes her do it. So I try not to get angry but at 38+ weeks pregnant its so hard to keep my emotions in check and I admit I have yelled at her more often than I am proud to admit. She knows how to press my buttons, and I know she just thinks its a bit of fun, but man, is it ever frustrating.
I am learning to pick my battles, and unless its something really dangerous I try to give her as many options and chances as possible to do the right thing and make the decision for herself. What I wonder though is how other people have coped with this stage. Were you hardcore on the discipline or did you just go with the flow? And what tactics and discipline do you find toddlers respond well too?
I am definitely a bit of a hard ass and I feel that there is no reason why Punky can't learn from a young age to do what she is asked (such as helping pack away her toys, not throwing food or drinks on the floor, not kicking me in the tummy while I am changing her nappy) but how do I get her to do those things without having to repeatedly ask her? Or is this the magic question that every parent asks and there is no real answer? I hate to ask her to do something and have her ignore me and then not follow through on getting her to do it, but I don't want to fight with her or yell at her either.
Am I trying to do too much for her age and expecting too much of her too soon? I just don't know and would love to hear about other people's experiences and what did or didn't work for you.
Linking up this Tuesday as I do every week for IBOT with Essentially Jess. It's essential blogging!
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| Took this the other night. I think the look on my face says it all really! |
Less than two weeks to go now and I can't wait. I swing from being cool, calm and collected, knowing that this baby will come when she is good and ready, and being all zen about it; To riding waves of hormones and emotions and just desperately wishing and hoping that she would please GET THE HELL OUT OF ME NOW!
Thankfully PJ#2's room is basically finished and all of the other things that we really needed to get done before her arrival have been sorted so that is a huge relief. We had a massive week of cleaning, shifting furniture, painting, more cleaning and cot-building and its basically all done. There is no way we could have done it without the help of our awesome families. They are the absolute best!!!
I am loving PJ#2's room. It's all but finished, with the exception of those final touches of hanging pictures and wall art. I find myself just going in there and sitting on the spare bed, thinking about her and what she will be like. Not really believing that in such a short period of time there will be a new little life in the room. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Punky. Punky loves her sisters room too and I've now learnt the first lesson of having two children - buying two of everything. Punky has co-opted the cute little owl night light I bought for PJ#2's room and I think I am gonna have to go and get another one!
Speaking of Punky, on the one hand she has been absolutely brilliant. She amazes me everyday, how fast she is learning new words (at least one new word every day), how you can ask her questions and she can answer with actual words (what sound does an owl/dog/pony/car make? what do you want from the fridge? cheese. Always bloody cheese!) and the fact that she has been exceptionally good at letting me lie down and rest when I need to and been happy to occupy herself with her toys, the iPad or a bit of TV. I worry that she is turning in to a bit of a TV & iPad addict but at this stage I am just going with it. Everyone keeps telling me just do what you have to to get through the day, so I am!
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| Silly morning selfies, complete with swollen, puffy pregnancy face! |
Sure enough after a few minutes she started to emerge from the tent. As soon as she saw that I was back from the loo and watching her, she put what she was holding behind her back and made a hasty backwards retreat into the tent! Obviously my alarm bells started ringing and I knew she had something that she knew she shouldn't have. I walked in to her, got down on my hands and knees (no mean feat thank you very much!) and stuck my head in the tent. She tried to hide what she had but I was too fast and discovered, by the lovely smell, that she had somehow managed to get my perfume.
I took the perfume off her and the tantrum that followed was pretty epic. There was crying and screaming and gnashing of teeth. The worst part was that this wasn't the first tantrum of the day, nor was it the last. Insert mega sigh here!
I've been reading a little on toddler discipline and there are two schools of thought. One is that most forms of discipline just aren't really effective before the age of two, the other is they are never too young to start. My problem is I just don't know what I should be doing. I've tried different things, the thinking corner, counting to three to get her to do something, I've even resorted to a smack on the hand when what she's done/doing is dangerous (she has been putting things in her mouth and then coming and showing me and running away. It terrifies me as I'm so scared of her choking, especially after her little choking episode in the car the other day when she ended up throwing up after choking on the hair elastic I told her repeatedly not to put her in mouth!) but none of it is really effective.
When I ask her to do something she gives me this look and just flops on the ground and won't move until I pick her up and physically make her do it (like putting away toys, picking up the thing she has thrown on the ground that she shouldn't have, dropping food wherever she pleases). When she is doing something she isn't supposed to she just runs away from me and continues to do it until I manage to get close enough to her to take it off her.
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| Because basically lying under the coffee table is the perfect place to play with the iPad while Mum passes out on the lounge |
I am learning to pick my battles, and unless its something really dangerous I try to give her as many options and chances as possible to do the right thing and make the decision for herself. What I wonder though is how other people have coped with this stage. Were you hardcore on the discipline or did you just go with the flow? And what tactics and discipline do you find toddlers respond well too?
I am definitely a bit of a hard ass and I feel that there is no reason why Punky can't learn from a young age to do what she is asked (such as helping pack away her toys, not throwing food or drinks on the floor, not kicking me in the tummy while I am changing her nappy) but how do I get her to do those things without having to repeatedly ask her? Or is this the magic question that every parent asks and there is no real answer? I hate to ask her to do something and have her ignore me and then not follow through on getting her to do it, but I don't want to fight with her or yell at her either.
Am I trying to do too much for her age and expecting too much of her too soon? I just don't know and would love to hear about other people's experiences and what did or didn't work for you.
Linking up this Tuesday as I do every week for IBOT with Essentially Jess. It's essential blogging!
Comments
I've been reading a book called Positive Discipline, and I really like the ideas in that. Though, it is definitely not a hard ass book, but next I will read a pro-smacking sort of book, and then make up my mind between the two once I'm done. Or at least work out what will work for our particular situation.
I hope PJ#2 comes early for you, so you don't have to wait much longer! I am praying you guys have a really calm, positive birth experience with her. That you enjoy your doula experience, and that you recover quickly!! :D
So hard, knowing when to start the discipline/time out stuff. Do what feels right for you. If she's crossing boundaries you don't find acceptable, you stop them. I always said a loud 'NO', from an early age, and despite the 'they're too young to understand' argument she certainly seemed to get it. And push it ;) Then I started time outs, just a minute for each year of their age, in a corner of the same room, once they turned 2. And only then after they'd crossed a slow 1, 2, 3, countdown warning to stop their behaviour. They know the system, and I stlll use it now they're 4 and 5. Won't promise it works! Still pull my hair out daily. But, the best part is, they get older, and easier. Much love xxxx
One thing is choose a method and stick with it for at least a couple of weeks and stand firm but don't swap and change each day because you will both be confused and exhausted. It's a journey, one we all walk and so many of us are here to give you a cheer and a cyber hug. Hang in there. Make sure you get time out for YOU!
Those necklaces look good, I'll have to get one when my PPL comes through and we have some cash again.
I think picking one method and sticking with it will be the best thing too, I don't want to confuse her by trying too many things and have her just not know what is going on!
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