To one of the greatest women I know...
I haven't always had a great relationship with my mother. In fact in my teens and early 20s we could barely have a conversation without getting in to an argument. In many ways we are different, but in others, too similar. I was a headstrong teenager who knew everything and I didn't need anyone telling me what to do. Couple that with trying to cope with my parents separation and eventual divorce and I had quite the rebellious period!
These days however it's a different story. I can't believe I gave my Mum so much grief and I often feel guilty about the way I behaved and the things I did and said to her. Since becoming a mother myself I have a new understanding and appreciation for my own mother that I don't think I would have gained if it wasn't for the little ones who now call me Mum.
Being a Mum is certainly not the easiest job in the world, there are a lot of sacrifices made and to think I repaid my Mother her sacrifices with so much bad behaviour and worry. I'm not looking forward to when it's my turn with my own teenage girls! As they say, Karma is a Bitch!
Every Wednesday night we all head to Mum's place for family night, a night when Mum cooks an amazing meal and we all spend time together just hanging out and catching up. It's my favourite night of the week, and I know it's Mum's too. No matter what has been going on Mum always puts in so much effort and I don't think I could ever fully express just how much I appreciate that effort and love those nights with her.
Last Wednesday night however was a little different. I drove to Mum's, left Punky with my sister E, and Mum and I headed over to Westmead Hospital to visit my Uncle S, Mum's brother. In the car on the way over we got to talking about being a Mum and how as mothers we make mistakes and don't always feel that we are doing the best job that we can. My grandmother wasn't the perfect mother, my mother wasn't the perfect mother, and I sure as hell ain't the perfect mother. But the simple fact remains that we all did and continue to do (with the exception of Grandma, rest her soul) the best we can, even if it doesn't feel like it. And no matter what other people say, no-one will be a harsher critic of our parenting than we are of ourselves.
Knowing what I know now, since becoming a Mum, and just generally growing up, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell Mum this...
You did do a good job. In fact, you did a fantastically brilliant job. You still do. I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today without you. I appreciate you more than I could ever express with words and I truly don't know what I would do without you. You are an amazing grandmother to Punky and Zee and I can't thank you enough for the all of the love and support you give us.
You've gone through so much, and I know this year especially has been so hard, losing both Aunty J and now Uncle S, I can't imagine the heartache you must feel. I wish there was a way that I could take the pain and grief and make it all go away, to make you happy and to make you smile. It's not fair that cancer has taken so much from you and I hope and pray that it won't take anyone else from you.
Today on your birthday I hope you can find some joy amidst the grief, some sunshine in the rain, even for a few hours. I love you so much and so do your granddaughters and all of us who are lucky enough to call you Mum, mother-in-law, sister, aunty and friend.
Happy Birthday Mum, can't wait to see you tonight!
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
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| My beautiful mother with my sister E |
Being a Mum is certainly not the easiest job in the world, there are a lot of sacrifices made and to think I repaid my Mother her sacrifices with so much bad behaviour and worry. I'm not looking forward to when it's my turn with my own teenage girls! As they say, Karma is a Bitch!
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| Mum and I, Christmas Day, maybe 2004 |
Every Wednesday night we all head to Mum's place for family night, a night when Mum cooks an amazing meal and we all spend time together just hanging out and catching up. It's my favourite night of the week, and I know it's Mum's too. No matter what has been going on Mum always puts in so much effort and I don't think I could ever fully express just how much I appreciate that effort and love those nights with her.
Last Wednesday night however was a little different. I drove to Mum's, left Punky with my sister E, and Mum and I headed over to Westmead Hospital to visit my Uncle S, Mum's brother. In the car on the way over we got to talking about being a Mum and how as mothers we make mistakes and don't always feel that we are doing the best job that we can. My grandmother wasn't the perfect mother, my mother wasn't the perfect mother, and I sure as hell ain't the perfect mother. But the simple fact remains that we all did and continue to do (with the exception of Grandma, rest her soul) the best we can, even if it doesn't feel like it. And no matter what other people say, no-one will be a harsher critic of our parenting than we are of ourselves.
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| Mum and I on my wedding day, August 2008 |
You did do a good job. In fact, you did a fantastically brilliant job. You still do. I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today without you. I appreciate you more than I could ever express with words and I truly don't know what I would do without you. You are an amazing grandmother to Punky and Zee and I can't thank you enough for the all of the love and support you give us.
You've gone through so much, and I know this year especially has been so hard, losing both Aunty J and now Uncle S, I can't imagine the heartache you must feel. I wish there was a way that I could take the pain and grief and make it all go away, to make you happy and to make you smile. It's not fair that cancer has taken so much from you and I hope and pray that it won't take anyone else from you.
Today on your birthday I hope you can find some joy amidst the grief, some sunshine in the rain, even for a few hours. I love you so much and so do your granddaughters and all of us who are lucky enough to call you Mum, mother-in-law, sister, aunty and friend.
Happy Birthday Mum, can't wait to see you tonight!
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
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Comments
I'm not a mother yet, but even being an adult I can see all the reasons why my parents did and said what they did. I can only hope to be as wonderful a mother as mine was to me.
Sounds like, although turbulent times when you were younger, you and your mother have sucha beautiful friendship now.
Happy Birthday Mumma of Kylez
x
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Have the best day !
Me
Happy birthday to your gorgeous mum xx
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
I remember when my eldest was born, I looked at mum differently and thought 'you did this for me?' And now I know that despite the pain and length, she would have done it a hundred times, just like I would.
Sorry about Uncle S xx
#teamIBOT
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