Monday Mini-Rant - F&%king "Fashion" and Why I'll never be a fashion blogger

The other day I went to the shops to try and find something to wear to the #voicesof2014 blogging masterclass. And lemme tell ya, it was an effing depressing experience!



I am at that stage where I am not only in between sizes, but I'm in between what is considered plus-size and what's not. So trying to find clothes that fit, both in the shops and in my own bloody wardrobe is an absolute nightmare.

All of the clothes in my wardrobe are either too small, too big, or too damn maternity!

I am so over wearing maternity clothes after being pregnant, breastfeeding, pregnant and breastfeeding, pregnant and once again breastfeeding (you follow that?!) for the past almost 3 and a half years!

If you asked Dave, he would tell you that I have more clothes than any one person has a right to own. However I'l let you try and explain to him why it is that women-with-bursting-wardrobes everywhere exclaim "I have nothing to wear!!!!".  Good luck with that!

Venturing in to the shops it would seem the only people who want to buy clothes are those who are either young or blind. Or ridiculously thin! I spent a shitload of time going in to 3, yes 3 bloody stores, trying to find something, anything, that I could wear.

That was 2 more shops than I'd bargained for!

I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes, and I've never been big on designer-wear anyway. My budget and comfort level has always seen me well and truly shopping in places like Target and Big W. And boy-oh-boy was I disappointed when I walked out of Target.

Normally I can find something semi-decent in Target, and if not there then Big W, but alas it was not meant to be.

Putting aside the fact that we only have a stupid, poxy Target Country (the place where all the regular Targets send all their rejects and odd-sized stock it seems!) it appears that the people who design the fashions available in our Target hate their customers. Or at least they hate me. (They will after this post at any rate!)

It's all shapeless and floral. Or just downright ugly. There were some tops that I really couldn't believe anyone would actually buy! It looked like one of my Grandma's old lounges had been murdered to make clothing for the stylistically challenged!

And what is with all the cropped tops? I didn't understand them in 1994 and I sure as hell don't understand them now. Especially the long-sleeved cropped top. The only way I can see that working is if you've got a nice, protective layer of fat around the mid-section, blubber some might call it, to keep you warm. But those damn cropped tops certainly weren't designed for the likes of me and my mega-muffin tops so that can't be it.

Maybe the old adage "no sense, no feeling" was actually meant to be "no fashion sense, no feeling"?

Long-sleeved, tartan crop tops with leather-look shoulder patches? And matching mini skirts to boot?

Really, Target???

Really???

And what's with all the leather pants and leggings? The only place I wanna see leather pants is in a nightclub or 1999.

And it's not even real leather, it's "leather look". What the fuck? Forget about crimes against animals, this is crimes against fashion on a grand scale, and I for one, will have no part in it!

If this is what passes for clothing these days then STOP THE WORLD! I want to get off!

This post is further proof of why I'll never be a fashion blogger and have now guaranteed I'll never be a bloody Target brand ambassador either! Do you hate shopping as much as I do? And please tell me you are not down with the whole leather-look thing. If you are, we might have to break up!

Linking it up with mah girl Em over at Have a Laugh on Me to wet her head on her first hosting of the Laugh Link. Get over them and have a few laughs with Em and those other hilarious chickas! And also linking up with the other various Monday link-ups, I Must Confess, Open Slather, and Mummy Mondays.

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