The first Tosser Trophy of 2015 goes to... | Ranty Mc Ranterson
The time has come to award the first Tosser Trophy of 2015 and it comes to you courtesy of a nomination from my long-suffering husband. So without further ado, the most anticipated award of the year goes to...
The makers of feminine hygiene products.
Seriously, why do you need to change the packaging every bloody month? Why?!?!?!
Do you know how hard this makes it to find what you want/need month to month? Every month I have to stand there and carefully read the packaging to make sure that I'm getting the thing that I actually want.
Just when I think I've got it figured out, that I know what size & colour the packaging of the pads or tampons I'm looking for is like, you go and change the damn thing! The amount of times I've walked out of their with the wrong pads or wrong tampons is ridiculous.
And we all know using a light tampon that you think is a super is not going to make me or my underwear very happy!
Now to some women, standing and reading the front and back of the packaging might not be a problem. In fact, if I've somehow managed to get out of the house and to the shops kid-free then I might actually stand there and read the front and back of every package just for the hell of it. Because I can. Because every moment I stand there trying to figure out which pack contains the thing that I'm after is another minute of child-free peace that I've gained.
To be honest though, I'd rather be spending those blissful, child-free moments doing something more enjoyable, like pouring hot wax on my nether regions or dumpster diving through dirty nappies.
The thing is, most of the time when I'm shopping I have a kleptomaniac preschooler and a toddler trying to kill themselves climbing out of the trolley with me. If I'm not telling the preschooler for the 50 bazillionth time to stop touching every damn thing on the shelf then I'm frantically trying to keep one eye on the shelves and one eye on the toddler who is hanging over the side of the trolley, attached by one leg and aiming for a perfect 10 at the World Trolley Diving Championships.
It's hectic. And my least favourite thing to do in the world. Except for maybe dealing with a number three. That might actually be worse. But only just.
The last thing I want to be doing while I'm trying to keep two small humans from destroying the joint or killing themselves is to have to stand there and try and figure out what colour the pads I'm looking for is packaged in this month.
Just pick a colour or design and stick to it for heaven's sake. For my own sanity, the sanity of the shoppers around me, and the sanity of our dear husbands.
You see, as confusing as it is for me to figure out which product is the one I'm actually after, can you imagine how hard it is for my husband?! He's trying to do a good deed, and buy his wife the right thing. He thinks he knows, he grabbed them last month and it was easy enough. He checked the colour and design of the packaging on the last lot before he left the house, he thinks it will be easy.
Jokes on you buddy, you're gonna have to stand there staring at all those pads and tampons for way longer than you ever dreamed possible. Just one of the many bonuses no-one ever told you having a partner would bring.
I can only assume that the people who design the packages and make these infernal changes on what feels like a month to month basis are man haters. What other reason could there be? They want to see them suffer in the aisles as they frantically search to find exactly the right thing for their woman, lest they feel her hormonal wrath for getting it wrong, at what is already a really shitty time of the month.
So do us all a favour why don't you, and just pick a colour and design and stick with it, yeah?
The mothers and the husbands of the world will thank you.
Have you ever noticed how often they change the packaging of these products? Has it confused you too? Tell me Dave and I are not alone in this most serious grievance.
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
Find me here:
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- One Perfect Moment {Now I Lay Me} | Life
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- Linky Lovin' Friday {27th February 2015} | Reading
Comments
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Dani @ sand has no home
I'm still not sure I picked up the right thing. The ones I picked up are all different colours. Like a box of crayons. And you know what my toddler thought they were? A box of crayons. Which he likes to put in his mouth. F*#k.
WHY????????
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